Online chatting, screening, and first time meets

So you have ventured into the world of online SD/SB dating….now what? In the sd/sb online dating world you don’t even have to be highly attractive to get bombarded with messages, inquires, offers, etc. So the tedious part is weeding through all the fakes and flakes to find a legitimate SD. Below is a bunch of tips and general rules to go by when dating online, and meeting for the first time. Good luck ladies.

1st) A rule for you!

-Use real up to date pictures or don’t use any. While putting up a photo of a model may get you more responses, or putting up a photo of you 5+ years earlier when you thought you were slightly slimmer, is not a good idea. Keep in mind if you do happen to reach the point of meeting with a SD, a misrepresentation of yourself could cost you a potential arrangement. My current SD said the worst thing he experienced while dating on seeking arrangement was women who had completely old pictures (One as bad as 20 yrs+) and others who used photos that were not even them.
Now that that’s out of the way let’s venture into the rules and tips of online SD/SB dating.

Initial Looks

Before you respond to someone’s message you can learn a lot from their profile alone. Most men have a photo, a brief description of themselves, and in some cases some information about education, employment, etc. Their profile can be used as an initial screening tool, and a tool for later on in the conversation/meet.
1)Look at their age and compare it to their stats. Does their education and job seem appropriate for their age? I ran across a guy once who claimed and looked to be 25. Supposedly he had completed med school and residency and was a well-paid DR. I am sure you can do the math on this one. Unless he is a prodigy who started med school as a teen he’s probably full of crap! Take the time to read through things and make sure they seemingly align.

2)Run a check on their photo. I come across a lot of men who have professional photos on their profiles. While I know this doesn’t rule them out, it can be a red flag. Try plugging them into a site such as tinyeye.com It does a search of the image on thousands of places on the web. In one case I found a supposed CEO in CA had stolen photos of a 29-year-old model from FL. While not all images you plug in will return results, some do, and you can save yourself some time.

3)Writing style. If they claim they have a PHD or are a high paid CEO, you should expect them to display good grammar and form intelligent sentences. I came across a man once who supposedly graduated with his MBA from Harvard, yet his profile was all done in some form of Ebonics. For a highly educated man in CA who is a current big wig in the business world, this raised a red flag. Educated individuals normally spell correctly, use appropriate grammar, and speak well.

4)Income and allowance. If one or both of these two things are listed, do they seem legitimate? If a mans income is 125k a year and he’s promising 10k allowance, it probably doesn’t add up. Furthermore does their job seem in line with their income? Research what they do. I know people have outside forms of income other then their actual job, but lets just say a Dr probably isn’t worth 100million. Just be cautious, and if it seems weird or to good to be true, the odds are it is.

Time to read…

So you have been receiving tons of messages. Now it’s time to sit down and read. You can weed out a lot of men by just reading their first message. Below are some red flags to look for.

1) They bring up something sexual in the first message. A classy, legit sugar daddy usually does not do this. The men who do this are on the site for 2 reasons. First, for girls who put out with the “promise” of an arrangement, or girls who put out on a pay for play basis. There are many girls like that unfortunately, so guys like this succeed quite often. Be prepared to get tons of sexual messages.

2) They promise you the world upfront. Legitimate SD’s usually understand the importance of a connection of some sort. They are also wealthy enough to be SD’s because they are somewhat intelligent in business world, meaning they normally will take an arrangement slower. As before if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

3) They offer you a set amount per meet. While this could be an option, when it is offered upfront without an initial meeting or having any time spent together, it usually means they are looking for a pay for play option. Proceed with caution.

4) They want to meet immediately. A legitimate SD usually likes his SB to be comfortable and will take the time to talk and get to know you a bit before meeting. Be cautious of fast meets because the gentleman is usually not looking for a true arrangement.

Time to talk and ask…

So now it’s time to respond and see what the guys are all about. With luck one or two turn out to be legitimate SD’s Below are common questions you should never be afraid to ask.

1)Their real name. This is the most legitimate tool in doing your background homework before a meet. Their name could link them to their job, their education, location, etc

2)What they do. Ask for information about their job. To avoid sounding like an interrogator pose questions as if you are interested. If they claim they are a lawyer, tell them you find law very interesting, or that you once considered it. This can make them feel like your not running a background on them but are genuinely curious

3)Ask about their prior arrangements. Have they had any? How was the experience?

4)Ask them to be clear with what they want upfront? What do they expect an arrangement to be like? What is their ideal arrangement? Why have they come to want an arrangement? This gives you an idea of what he expects upfront. If you two do not see eye to eye, you can move on.

Making sure a SD is real, genuine, and most importantly safe, is vital. Although there is no foul proof way to scan every guy before potential meets, the questions above can help you do some homework. With his name you can search him via a lot of different engines. You can often verify photos, occupation, location etc. If you have an email address or phone number you can search those as well to see if his number or email pops up with any other sites (dating, company, etc) A little thing I also like to do is a reverse phone search, which displays the name of the phone owner and sometimes other info like location. Below is a great little story about why some of the above tools and tricks are great.

*I met a pot SD who claimed he was a retired NBA player. I don’t know much about basketball so I went with it and looked him up on good old Google. I found a bunch of information and older photos from when he had played. We met for coffee and he looked like the photos as he walked up so I decided to continue with the coffee date. Once we got to talking though I started realizing information didn’t match up. In his bio online it said he had been married (now divorced) with 2 older children. When I curiously asked if he had kids, he said he had one that was 7, and he was never married. Red Flags! I politely sped the date along and headed home. I was intrigued to find out if he was in fact a retired NBA player, so I reversed his phone and found it registered to a completely different name. Even more intrigued, I googled that name and actually found him under an insurance co website with his exact (and current) photo. He was actually an insurance agent who was definitely not a pro athlete at any point in his life, and never made millions. Rule of this story. Do your homework!


Lastly…. Here are things never to do one a first meet.

1)Meet at his home or yours. No matter how much screening you do, you never can be sure, so you want to always meet in a public place for the first date. If he refuses, then move on because something is not right.

2)Always drive yourself to a first meet. This goes hand and hand with the above. Even if you think having him pick you up near your house is ok, don’t. Once you get in the car, you’re stuck. If something goes wrong, you have very little control over removing yourself from the situation. If you meet in public on your own, you have the ability to walk away and leave the location.

3)Do not meet at a hotel. While some SD’s do travel and stay in hotels, legitimate ones should be ok with a more comfortable public place as a first meeting.

4)Give out to much personal info. It’s ok to share your name, what you do etc, but don’t rush into something and tell him your bank account for a transfer. (Yes there are girls who do this) Make sure you are completely comfortable and sure of him before you share very personal things.

Bet you did not think you were going to be reading a book. Sorry in advance, but there are so many tips and rules to follow, I find myself having trouble narrowing it down. In the end, just exercise caution and try to follow the tips in this blog, and eventually you will meet a great SD